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Post by Imprezivblue on Jan 16, 2007 14:26:04 GMT -5
I heard a this last night, and I think it's a riot!!!
What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
wait for it . . .
Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a good year!!!
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Post by damnyankee on Jan 16, 2007 15:22:55 GMT -5
is it a "sticky" tire?  |
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Post by pistonwheels on Jan 16, 2007 16:37:14 GMT -5
Aren't there enough Joke Threads in this Forum. Actually, I think every thread seems to head that way.
Calling Clean-Up Crew.... Spill in Aisle 9.
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Post by prancingdawg on Jan 16, 2007 16:51:29 GMT -5
Imprezivblue made me blush... and that ain't so easy!
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Post by Imprezivblue on Jan 16, 2007 17:24:42 GMT -5
It's even funnier because I might be working for Goodyear making tires in a few months, but certainly not that way!!!
But seriously, I searched "joke" and nothing came up. . . unless the search buttons don't work and are for purely aesthetic reasons.
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Post by soloracer on Jan 16, 2007 18:32:52 GMT -5
It's even funnier because I might be working for Goodyear making tires in a few months, but certainly not that way!!! But seriously, I searched "joke" and nothing came up. . . unless the search buttons don't work and are for purely aesthetic reasons. Actually , the search button DOES work. If your computer seems to be running slower, it is because it is busy searching for your Car keys |
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Post by Imprezivblue on Jan 16, 2007 18:52:11 GMT -5
It's even funnier because I might be working for Goodyear making tires in a few months, but certainly not that way!!! But seriously, I searched "joke" and nothing came up. . . unless the search buttons don't work and are for purely aesthetic reasons. Actually , the search button DOES work. If your computer seems to be running slower, it is because it is busy searching for your Car keys Sorry, I didn't mean it as a personal attack or anything. My computer can't be terribly slow, I just replaced the HD. |
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Post by C4Shane on Jan 16, 2007 21:50:01 GMT -5
TK - none of us would ever think you were capable of a personal attack....Well, except when in a SooBee attacking cones!
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Post by soloracer on Jan 16, 2007 23:34:53 GMT -5
Actually , the search button DOES work. If your computer seems to be running slower, it is because it is busy searching for your Car keys Sorry, I didn't mean it as a personal attack or anything. My computer can't be terribly slow, I just replaced the HD. Oops , was a joke T.K. kidding about your 'puter searching for something unrelated. Mine seems to. Apolgies, James |
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Post by C4Shane on Jan 17, 2007 20:44:33 GMT -5
Mine does too.. I keep ending up on some Car Club forum...
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Post by Imprezivblue on Jan 17, 2007 20:52:33 GMT -5
It's ok, no worries. So back to the smack talk I suppose now that we've all said our sorries to one another. . .
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Post by C4Shane on Jan 17, 2007 20:57:05 GMT -5
Me not sorry....me just want to see more jokes!!!
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Post by damnyankee on Jan 17, 2007 22:20:47 GMT -5
is it a "sticky" tire? Is it? |
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Post by Imprezivblue on Jan 17, 2007 23:13:02 GMT -5
is it a "sticky" tire? Is it? I dunno, ask JB! He's got all the answers! |
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Post by trickbrick on Jan 18, 2007 18:47:52 GMT -5
Alright, I couldn't resist!
How was the fugue invented?
The conductor asked the violas to play in unison!
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Post by trickbrick on Jan 18, 2007 18:55:18 GMT -5
Okay, last joke for me. (well, maybe  )... Saint Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter. The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations." St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!" The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children." "Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?" The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime." "Goodness!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?" |
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Post by soloracer on Jan 18, 2007 22:55:43 GMT -5
So, St peter answers the toling of the bell at the pearly gates.
Before him is Freddy Mercury, Versachi, and Princess Di.
He says "oh, we only have one room prepared. What can you do to get in ,now?"
Freddy says " I could make your angels sing even sweeter as I am trained in opera." "And have sold millions of records as lead singer for Queen.:
Versachi says "while your angels are quite beautiful, can you imagine them in Versachi original gowns?
Princess Di hikes up her skirt and douches herself with her bottle of Avian.
"welcome Princess " says St. Peter.
"How can you accept that?" says Freddy and Verchai.
"Well " says St. Peter, " A royal flush always beats two queens".
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Post by damnyankee on Jan 18, 2007 22:57:52 GMT -5
James, you have a lot of "St. Peter" jokes!!!
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Post by Imprezivblue on Jan 18, 2007 23:00:01 GMT -5
So, St peter answers the toling of the bell at the pearly gates. Before him is Freddy Mercury, Versachi, and Princess Di. He says "oh, we only have one room prepared. What can you do to get in ,now?" Freddy says " I could make your angels sing even sweeter as I am trained in opera." "And have sold millions of records as lead singer for Queen.: Versachi says "while your angels are quite beautiful, can you imagine them in Versachi original gowns? Princess Di hikes up her skirt and douches herself with her bottle of Avian. "welcome Princess " says St. Peter. "How can you accept that?" says Freddy and Verchai. "Well " says St. Peter, " A royal flush always beats two queens". OMG! Now that is funny! |
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Post by soloracer on Nov 6, 2012 11:54:40 GMT -5
Old post revisited.
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Post by russ33 on Nov 15, 2012 18:24:32 GMT -5
What is the difference between God and a concuctor?
God dosen't think He's a conductor.
Russ Myers
Auto-X'er, Race car driver and Viola player.
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Post by srduck on Nov 15, 2012 20:23:27 GMT -5
A man walks into a pub in Dublin, goes up to the counter, and orders 3 pints of Guinness. He takes his 3 beers, goes to a table in the corner, puts them around the table, and then drinks a sip of each in sequence.
He finishes the first round, returns to the bartender to order 3 more, and the bartender says "Buddy, why don't you let me pour you one at a time. They get warm and they're not as good."
"No, I can't. I have a brother that lives in America now and another brother that lives in Australia. We promised each other that whenever we drink, we'd do it as if the other two are always there with us. Now I'll take 3 pints of Guinness please."
So this goes on for a few months... guy comes in, orders 3 pints, sits at his table and drinks them down in sequence. The bartender and everyone else recognizes him and knows his routine.
Then one day, he comes in, orders 2 pints, and sits at his table. There's a murmur around the pub as everyone notices the missing glass and wonders what happened. Eventually he finishes off the 2 pints, goes back up to the bartender, and orders 2 more.
"I'm sorry to hear about your loss."
"What?"
"You only ordered 2 pints... did something happen to one of your brothers?"
"Oh.... that.... no... I just quit drinking. Now I'll take those 2 pints, please."
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Post by soloracer on Nov 21, 2012 14:33:10 GMT -5
I do not follow stick and ball sports but find this funny.
Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
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How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a sophomore course.
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How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?
The cow fell on him.
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Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.
One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."
The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
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A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.
He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.
Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse. ___________________________________________
What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane
football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "
"Will the defendant please rise."
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If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
The police officer.
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How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.
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University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the
other half will have to dress themselves.
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How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?
They play dead at home and get killed on the
road.
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Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
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How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
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What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football player’s life?
Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.
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Post by markt on Nov 22, 2012 7:26:03 GMT -5
What does the "N" stand for on the side of a Nebraska football helmet?
nollege...
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Post by tedebayer on Nov 22, 2012 9:31:06 GMT -5
Eddie in Dallas calls his son in New York just before Thanksgiving and tells him, 'I am sorry to tell you but your mother and I are going to divorcing. I just cannot take any more of her moaning. We can't stand the sight of each other any more.' I am telling first, Eddie, because you are the eldest, please tell your sister.
When Eddie calls his sister Julie, she says: 'No way are they getting divorced, I will go over and see them for Thanksgiving.'
Julie phones here parents and tells them both 'You must NOT get divorced. Promise you won't do anything until I get over there. I'm calling Eddie, and we'll both be there with you tomorrow. Until then, don't take any action, please listen to me', and hangs up.
The father puts down the phone and turns to his wife and says. 'Good news' he says, 'Eddie and Julie are coming for Thanksgiving and they are both paying their own way.'
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