Post by C4Shane on Dec 20, 2006 23:20:00 GMT -5
OK - every now and then you have to poke fun at yourself and realize that most home improvement projects take longer than planned and in some cases are worthy of passing the story along to others.
As some of you know, over the last year I have been attempting to build a large garage in a wooded lot in a National Forest area. It has been frustrating to say the least and I was asked by a co-worker why has it taken so long? In response, I wrote the response below and thought I would share it with a few of you!
My observations regarding Contractors:
1. All contractors involved in the construction trades lie like snakes in the grass. (sorry if you are a contractor, but this is based on scientific observations).
2. There is an order to the level of lying and it follows this line up (biggest lies at top):
a. Grading contractors
b. Concrete contractors
c. Building/construction
d. Plumbing/electrician
3. There must be a book of excuses to use when discussing schedule and price with customers. And, it must come with a checklist so you don’t accidentally use the same one twice. Here is what I have been told by my contractors over the last few months:
Related to Schedule:
· Wheel fell off of truck
· Wife was in car accident
· I hit a deer on way over to your house
· I lost my driveshaft on way to your house
· My daughter is having emergency surgery today
· Truck caught on fire
· Everybody is sick and can’t get there this week
· Fire at the factory building your garage
· SHP said I needed to get new tires on dump truck or they’d give me a ticket
· My bulldozer got stuck at another job and I have to wait until it dries up to get it out.
· The concrete plant is frozen and won’t be thawed out until tomorrow (was still waiting a week later)
· And, the winner is – “I got a DUI and have to wait until my daughter gets off school to drive the truck over to do your job!”
Excuses related to Price:
· Well, we will save some money by not moving that big tree.
· Boy, it is going to cost you a lot of money in extra grading/concrete because you didn’t move that big tree.
· You need to raise the height of your concrete forms
· You need an extra 9 Cubic Yards of concrete because your forms are higher
· You need wider footers because of the additional grading (softer fill) you did so because you didn't move the big tree.
· You need more concrete because of wider footers.
· Your footers need to be deeper b/c of additional grading
· You need more concrete b/c of deeper footers
· Your building is going to cost more…because of all the scheduling problems we’ve had!
And - the always helpful county offishuls told me I am in a location of "historical significance" (something to do with the local native americans from hundreds of years ago) and must stop work if we discover any artifacts. Sounds like the same crazy folks who are "helping" out the High Rock track efforts.
Next time – I will buy something already in place…wherever it is!
Happy Holidays to all at CCR....I hope to have a garage to use this winter!
And I apologize again to any CCR members who are contractors! ;D But this just was too good not to share.
Shane
As some of you know, over the last year I have been attempting to build a large garage in a wooded lot in a National Forest area. It has been frustrating to say the least and I was asked by a co-worker why has it taken so long? In response, I wrote the response below and thought I would share it with a few of you!
My observations regarding Contractors:
1. All contractors involved in the construction trades lie like snakes in the grass. (sorry if you are a contractor, but this is based on scientific observations).
2. There is an order to the level of lying and it follows this line up (biggest lies at top):
a. Grading contractors
b. Concrete contractors
c. Building/construction
d. Plumbing/electrician
3. There must be a book of excuses to use when discussing schedule and price with customers. And, it must come with a checklist so you don’t accidentally use the same one twice. Here is what I have been told by my contractors over the last few months:
Related to Schedule:
· Wheel fell off of truck
· Wife was in car accident
· I hit a deer on way over to your house
· I lost my driveshaft on way to your house
· My daughter is having emergency surgery today
· Truck caught on fire
· Everybody is sick and can’t get there this week
· Fire at the factory building your garage
· SHP said I needed to get new tires on dump truck or they’d give me a ticket
· My bulldozer got stuck at another job and I have to wait until it dries up to get it out.
· The concrete plant is frozen and won’t be thawed out until tomorrow (was still waiting a week later)
· And, the winner is – “I got a DUI and have to wait until my daughter gets off school to drive the truck over to do your job!”
Excuses related to Price:
· Well, we will save some money by not moving that big tree.
· Boy, it is going to cost you a lot of money in extra grading/concrete because you didn’t move that big tree.
· You need to raise the height of your concrete forms
· You need an extra 9 Cubic Yards of concrete because your forms are higher
· You need wider footers because of the additional grading (softer fill) you did so because you didn't move the big tree.
· You need more concrete because of wider footers.
· Your footers need to be deeper b/c of additional grading
· You need more concrete b/c of deeper footers
· Your building is going to cost more…because of all the scheduling problems we’ve had!
And - the always helpful county offishuls told me I am in a location of "historical significance" (something to do with the local native americans from hundreds of years ago) and must stop work if we discover any artifacts. Sounds like the same crazy folks who are "helping" out the High Rock track efforts.
Next time – I will buy something already in place…wherever it is!
Happy Holidays to all at CCR....I hope to have a garage to use this winter!
And I apologize again to any CCR members who are contractors! ;D But this just was too good not to share.
Shane
